Oops I did it again

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So I sinned with my credit card again.. I bought some stuff again tonight even though a week ago I promised to myself to take a break for several months. Honestly, at what point a nice, flirty and so-womenly inclination to shop becomes an addiction to start taking measures against? Is excessive shopping more of an egoistic debauchery (as opposed to altruistic behaviours e.g. charity) or an evidence of some psychiatric problem a person suffers from?

There are many studies in psychology on compulsive behaviours looking into reasons and possible treatments. I took a brief glance at a couple of articles dealing with compulsive spending, and I regretted it already at having read the abstract. It reminded me the feeling that I had as a school girl every time after reading through the medical encyclopaedia at our home’s library –  excited to have learned new, but scared to tears that next headache and fever might be something much worse than flu and then we all die =)

So is this time. It’s not flu and I die. Help. Surely I found that many of the clinical symptoms and much of aetiology are just about myself. I do prepare for the shopping and my shopping regularly ends with spending, I do have a feeling of completion and often guilt after making a purchase, I do have troubles with impulse controlling, I do shop when I am angry, tired, disappointed with myself and bored, I do come from a family where anxiety and depression was a problem at some point of time, I do, I do, I do… Ok the admittance of a problem is half of the solution they say. But what is then the other half? Where is the remedy? Sarcastically both articles I’ve read end up with the fact that there is no standard treatment for compulsive shopping. Group therapy and general antidepression practices may work for some.

I actually managed to trace occasions when I do not shop at all. I do not shop when my kids are sick, I do not shop when I am frustrated with life and its sense (yes melancholia strikes me time after time, but I regain the balance always by looking at the kids) and…I do not shop when I am fully satisfied with my marriage, when my husband gives me a feeling I’m enough and appreciated. So maybe in my case at this point of time couple therapy would be a more potent measure than antidepressants and interactions within a group of sinners like me? And maybe not only in my case? Maybe most of those women who constitute 80% of compulsive shoppers need just more attention, more warm and affirmative words, more care and support from their men? But for a reason or another these medicines are definitely harder to get than Prozac..

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